String Bean

 

I just wanted to share the newest picture of our “bean”.  After a fall down the stairs on Mother’s Day (at home alone, of course), I was immediately seen at the doctor’s office where they performed an unscheduled ultrasound to calm my fears that something may have happened to the baby after my fall.  My anxiety was calmed as soon as I saw our baby floating around in an invisible sea – and this time it had arms and legs, and even waved at its Momma through the screen.  The nurse said “Oh wow…look at those long legs already!  This baby is going to be tall”, to which I replied, “That would be pretty consistent to the fact that my husband and I are both practically giants!”  We had a nice laugh and I was able to breathe again.

 

I woke up this morning to my find my “bump” well on its way to forming, and all I could do was sit there and smile at myself.  I can’t remember a time in my life where I was so excited to have myself a little belly.  I have had the most spectacular pregnancy so far – no morning sickness, no nausea, my weight gain so far is minimal – and I’m loving every second of this adventure.  Even the 25 trips to the bathroom each day!  I’m so thrilled to be blessed enough to experience this, and I can’t wait to feel the baby move for the first time!

 

My husband continues to amaze me every day of this pregnancy.  I’m not allowed to do anything at home except put up my feet, and even then, he rubs them for me!  If I ATTEMPT to do the dishes, I get yelled at.  If I TRY to fold a load of laundry, I’m in trouble.  Thank God for this man because I am exhausted and need my feet up as much as I can possibly stand after working a 40+ hour work week. 

 

Next Thursday (June 1) will be the day we hear the heartbeat!  I know I will cry tears of joy, and am misting up just thinking about it.  It’s so amazing to know that there is a HUMAN BEING growing inside me right now.  How cool is that??

The Day the World Almost Ended

Monday started out as any normal day would.  It was overcast, the weather was cool, and I had to take Patrick to his follow up eye appointment after his successful PRK surgery last week.  I dressed for work, took him there and home, and went about my daily activities. 

 

As my work day came to a close, I became absolutely ravenous with hunger.  I couldn't figure out what to eat that would satisfy my urge for food, and as I thought about it I remembered that I had a bag of Combos in the car from the day before.  I purposely sealed them up and kept them there for this specific purpose - a treat for myself.  Now, I've been trying very hard to eat healthy during this pregnancy, but every once in a while I do get the urge for something not so good and I do let my self fall off the wagon for one thing.  This week, it was my bag of glorious, salty, pizza flavored Combos. 

 

I took off like lightening to the car at 5:00, jumped in and began driving home.  While behind the wheel, I searched for the bag I had left, but couldn't find it.  I waited until I reached a red light, pressed firmly on the breaks, and turned around to search the backseat for the Combos I so desperately wanted.  I hot flash came over me as I realized that my once full bag of trash was now empty, and I said out loud to myself, "Ohmygosh, he threw them away!!!!"

 

As I drove down the street approaching our house, I began to try to reason with myself.  Normal Leah said "Good gracious, it's just food.  There's nothing to be upset about."  Pregnant Crazy Leah said "BUT HE THREW THEM AWAY".  Normal Leah said "But, he didn't mean to do it.  I'm sure it was an accident."  Pregnant Psycho Leah said "It doesn't MATTER!  He had NO RIGHT to do that.  I'm friggin hungry!"  I struggled with myself for the next 3 minutes to not make a big deal out of this situation.  I thought I was successful, too, until I began to walk in the door. 

 

What would normally be a situation that shouldn't be a big deal had now became the end of the world as I had known it.  I threw open the door and awoke my recovering husband from his nap with a loud, mean and crazy sounding, "Did you throw away my Combos?!?!".  He woke up groggy, looked me in my eye and said "Yes", not knowing that this would seal his fate.  He could have lied and said that he didn't know what I was talking about, but he didn't.  I glared at him and said "WHY would you DO that??", and he had no response.  I stormed off into the other room and finished with "You can't just throw a pregnant woman's food away!!!".

 

I sat in the other room festering about the loss of not only such a valuable, tasty treat, but also, apparently, my mind.  Again, I tried to reason with myself, but Pregnant Out of Her Mind Leah prevailed.  Patrick followed shortly thereafter and said "Are you okay?", to which I gnarled "NO, I am bloated and irritable!" and blew past him out of the room.  As I stomped away he said "Was it anything I did??"  I continued walking up the steps, peered down and him and shouted "YES!  You THREW AWAY MY COMBOS!!!!". 

 

I saw the look on his face as he struggled with whether or not to call me the crazy psycho that I was, or continue to live his life.  He said nothing, turned on his heel and walked away.  I'm sure he was cursing me out with every step, but he didn't let on that he was doing it.  I sat upstairs as Normal Leah came back around defeated, wounded and not the same person she used to be.  I knew what had just happened was out of my control, and I was warned that this would happen, but I don't think I was quite prepared for it.  Every sense of my being KNEW I was wrong for acting like that, and no matter how hard I tried, the hormones had total control.  As Carrie would later tell me, I just couldn't fight it, I had to let it play itself out. 

 

I did apologize to my husband for my odd, offensive and downright off-the-wall behavior, and he graciously accepted.  He understands that my body and my hormones are no longer my own, and he knows that if he expects to make it through this time, he needs to be accepting of Pregnant Crazy Leah when she rears her ugly head. 

 

God bless the men who have to put up with us.  I don't know how they do it, but they deserve medals and prizes for it.