Where do I draw the line between what’s realistically expected of my pregnant self, and what’s not? I have become obsessed with watching shows like “A Baby Story”, “Surviving Motherhood”, “Bringing Home Baby”, and the like. Nothing would be wrong with that except for the fact that I watch these beautiful women on TV having pain free, or little pain, labors and deliveries – all while their hair is done up and their make-up isn’t running.
I have always had a serious problem with my self image. Even as a sticklike teenager I could stare at myself in the mirror and see nothing but fat. Now, as I’m steadily expanding outward, it kills me when people say “OH! Look at how big you are!” or “I think you got bigger over the weekend!”, and the best one yet “You’re definitely filling out in your face already!” All things to which I reply “I am pregnant you know”, with an ever so slight roll of the eyes. I’m just shy of 5 months, and of course my belly is getting bigger, there’s a growing human inside of it…what do they expect?
I really have unrealistic expectations of how I should look now, and even worse expectations of what I should look like after delivery. All of this stems from watching beautiful women like Heidi Klum show up on the red carpet mere days after giving birth. I guess if I had a personal trainer and chef, I may be able to look like that. But alas, I will be stuck with my cottage cheese butt until I can find the time to get off it and go to the gym.
I really love being pregnant, and as my body changes I am becoming more receptive to the extra weight and elastic waistbands in my clothes. I just have to realize that I’m not going to make it back into my size 4’s right after birth, and in fact, may never fit into them again. It’s a chance I’m willing to take to be a mother…as nothing is more rewarding.
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