New Monogamy?

Bored at work this morning, I was perusing MSN when I happened upon an article entitled "The New Monogamy".  I considered what this statement meant and curiosity got the best of me, so I clicked the link.  After my jaw hit the desk, I was able to finish reading the article.  To sum it up, "The New Monogamy" is where married couples set new bounds and rules to their relationships so that "agreed upon" cheating is okay and helped to keep their partners from straying otherwise.  No, I am not kidding.  There are actually people out there who do this. 

 

Could you even imagine setting up "rules" for your spouse that allowed them to physically interact with another human on a sexual level, without consequences?  Doesn't that completely traipse all over the word "monogamy"?  Monogamy is defined as "marriage to one person", or "having one sexual partner".  Mono = one.  Where is the double meaning word that allows for you and your spouse to run around town doing what was "within the rules" with whomever you please?  In my world, we call that dating and not marriage.

 

To quote a part of the article, Cathi Hanauer, an author, states:

 

"We already know that monogamous marriage is far from a raging success in this country.  In my opinion, if some couples want to try veering slightly from the contract by creating their own rules, more power to them. I commend their courage in thinking deeply about marriage and its shortcomings, and for having the creativity and guts to adjust it to fit their mutual needs."

 

Monogamous marriage is far from a raging success not because people are expected to be with one person for the rest of their lives, but because people jump in with both feet and expect marriage to be easy and perfect.  The point of marrying someone is to build a life with that person that is founded on communication and trust.  When you marry someone, you do have to realize that (gasp), you will be sleeping with that person for the rest of your life.  Oh wait...my bad...that IS the contract you enter into when you get married, isn't it?  I see no courage about looking beyond your life partner for a dose of sex from someone else, I see that as cowardice.  When you enter into a marriage, you are choosing to be with that person, uplift that person, honor that person - so how does "agreed upon" cheating help you achieve that.

 

No matter how much a person says they're "okay" with their spouse having some type of sexual relations with another person, jealousy is not an emotion that can go unfelt forever.  One day, you will see your spouse with someone who is more attractive than you, with better legs than you, with higher breasts and a tighter ass than you, or maybe that person will be more intellectual than you, know more about world policies than you do - and you will begin to feel inferior.  That feeling will slowly mold into jealousy and your trust will be diminished and your marriage will be affected.  So, how is "the NEW monogamy" better than the old?

 

Maybe I am old fashioned, or maybe I'm a prude, but I entered in to marriage with my husband because I WANTED to be with only him for the rest of my life.  I find nothing more exciting or intense than the relationship we share.  Those who seek to redefine monogamy or marriage will end up never having the feelings I have for my husband.  And that is a fact.