State of Limbo

Just when I think that I am settled and accepting life the way it is, some kind of wrench is thrown at me and I'm forced to change my view of the future. Mother Teresa once said "I know God only gives us as much as we can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much."

Patrick told me on Monday that he was certain that he couldn't go on in this class anymore. Things had become overwhelming for him and he felt as though if he were sent to a boat on his own that he was totally unprepared. The pace of this class was so fast and he was not getting enough time to retain and practice the information given before he had to move on to something else. He told me honestly, "I am just not ready for this".

He has been told by several of the Chiefs at the school that he IS meant for this job, but he needs more experience in the field before he can complete this course. He is the youngest in the class, has been in the military the least amount of time, and only had 2 years experience as a Corpsman prior to starting this class. The Navy guys all have been Corpsmen for at least 5 years and in the military for 8 or more. They even told him at the beginning that this was going to be especially tough on him since he lacked the experience of the others. He has done well on all his exams but the school fails to let you practice one thing before you move on to another, and he is very much a hands on learner.

I applaud my husband's courage to take this step and handle the consequences from the Coast Guard, if there should be any. He knows he isn't ready and doesn't want to jeopardize his future shipmates or the ship in general. He wants to be totally confident in his job ability before taking the step to be the only medical person in charge of 100+ people. God knows that he is good at what he does, but he just needs more experience at this time.

So, now our life is in limbo while we wait to see where the Coast Guard will send us. He will stay here in San Diego for the time being and work at the Sector until the Detailer can put him someplace else. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for, but I want him to be in a place where he can continue to hone his skills and prepare him for the future. Brady and I will have to deal with the rest.

Sometimes life changes daily, but we have to roll with the punches to keep up with the flow. :)